Day 31 of 59 Days: "My So-Called Life"
Day 31: “My So-called Life”
May 23, 2019
Original Painting: “My So-called Life,” Acrylic on Canvas, 30×40, 8/16/17
This painting is a reminder for me about how life ebbs and flows. Sometimes it is a blur, others a swirl of color, or even a heart at the center. It is ever changing from one day to the next. I was thinking that there are titles I hold, but no longer fill the role. I am a daughter, but my parents and grandparents are gone. I am a mother, but my son is grown. He still calls me “Mom,” “Madre,” or “Ma” yet, I don’t have the mothering responsibilities any longer. I am not quite an elder, crone or a grand. I had been a wife, and could be again, but not now. I am no maiden or miss. My So-called Life has me in the middle ground. At the moment, I am betwixt and between, of what I am not certain.
What is the middle ground? Right now, it is a writing block. It is the place of just being, just chopping wood and carrying water. It is the mundane place of routine. It is the place of questioning…What’s next? Who am I, if not daughter, mother, elder, maiden, etc? What’s next? How did I get here? Where am I going? And the questions roll on…My so-called life is busy and full. If I am honest, it is not all that fulfilling at this place in time. As a friend from massage school once said, “I got to keep living to get through living.” I may be treading water, or floating, or even sinking AND it is my doing. My choices or lack of choosing (as choice) that has me here. So, it is time to put on my big girl pants, straighten my tiara and get on LIVING (out loud) this so-called life. Embrace it. Create it. Living it. What about you?
Blessings and peace on your journey!
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