Day 22 of 59 Days: "Making A Wish"
Day 22: “Making A Wish”
May 12, 2019
Original Painting: “Making A Wish”, Acrylic on Canvas 18×24, 1/1/2018
If my wish for today came true, I would be having a conversation with my mom, face to face, walking on the beach. I miss her. It will be seven years in July that she let go if this incarnation. My mother was a force. She was tough and confident, at least on the outside. She worked her way up the ladder, through the glass ceiling and all that. She would say flat out when things were “unacceptable.” She was logical, intelligent and wise. She was an English major in college and went on to get her MBA. Her escape from pressure and stress was reading. She told me once, she would read Jane Austin’s “Pride and Prejudice” when things were really stressing her. I have her copy, with the well-worn cover and pages from use.
Making Wishes was not something I would think my mother would do. She was so practical and matter of fact. She was a woman of faith and believed, yet mysticism didn’t have the rational explanation she always wanted. She enjoyed practicing Tai Chi with me or having Reiki, and she always wanted an explanation of how it worked. I would like to have those conversations with her now. I would like to hold her hand as we jump into the rabbit hole. I think, and maybe even know, that she was a powerful energyworker. She didn’t know she was. I wish she knew. The truth is my mom was insecure about many things. She never let on and did thing anyway. She was that force that got things moving, people working, and tasks off the list. She could not bear to sit for 5 minutes in stillness. Maybe stopping for her would cause some effect, some feeling that didn’t have a detailed explanation??
As I reflect on this painting, “Making A Wish,” I painted this on my birthday in 2018. I wrote on the back, “hope, love, sign from above, lizard and chrysocolla.” I know that the last three are cards I pulled from an angel deck, a totem deck and a crystal deck. Painting is a time of contemplation and meditation for me. Sometimes, I used the decks or the I Ching to help the process. Wishing is something beyond hoping. It has a dash of magic when you blow out the candles or the head off a dandelion. With the seeds set on the wind of your breath, the wish is carried away to come back when the time is right. That’s magical, if only for that moment. Have I let my wishing self go?
Let’s see how I connect this lyric that is running it my head. It is like a pesky mosquito! So here it is! Guns N Roses, “Shed a tear cuz I’m missing you. Still alright to smile.” The song is “Patience.” Patience is something I used to wish for, then I got smart. When you wish for patience, you get lessons to learn patience…uh, no! Been there done that! Here is the ugly truth about wishing…it takes you (and me) out of the present moment. I think a good practice would be to BE patient with myself. To accept the “unacceptable”, to feel the moments of missing and wishing in the present…and still be alright to smile. This may be a reach to pull these threads together and this is how life works! It’s the weaving of the wishes, moments, thoughts, experience and love that comes in and goes out of our life. I am the person I am today because of the moments I had with the beautiful force I call MOM. Missing her and smiling are perfectly fine. I am grateful, blessed and a force of my own. Happy Mother’s Day!
Blessings and peace on your journey!
Beth is a seasoned and experienced bodywork, somatic coach and wellness professional. She is available to present on wellness, bodywork and somatic topics; or individual bodywork and coaching sessions. Bring Beth to your area for workshops, speaking events or team building projects. Personal and business coaching are also services that Beth provides. Consider coaching for individual or small groups/teams. Contact Beth for more information and rates.