Day 3 of 59 Days: “The Edge"
Day 3 of 59 Days: “The Edge”
April 22, 2019
Original Painting: “At the Edge of the Bamboo Forest”
Acrylic on Paper 18×24
Bamboo is a prolific plant that can create forests. It is also a symbol of luck or good fortune, gifted to bless homes, love and the well-being of others. This painting still holds much of a familiar feeling of being on the edge of something…hopefully, luck and good fortune as the symbol of bamboo suggests.
This “edgy” feeling has been my constant companion for some time now. It looms and lightens my thoughts, like the changing of the tides. I can’t quite grasp it. It keeps me seeking, learning and hoping for what, I am not certain. I never was that person that knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. I just, simply, do things, learn things, know things. Even in college, I took Economics because it was easy, not because I wanted to be a trader on wall street, or a banker or an economist. I took it because it was natural to me. Much of what I do has a naturalness to it, except this edgy feeling. It doesn’t feel natural. It does feel familiar. That’s what time does, it makes things feel familiar.
The other texture of this painting reminds me of dragon scales or the hookah-smoking caterpillar from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. The caterpillar was serious, a bit snooty, frustrating and confusing. He kept begging the question of Alice, “Whooo are you?” Being at the edge of the forest of something begs it too…Who are you? And even, where are you? Sitting with in this edgy place takes practice, patience and pause. Maybe that’s why I think of the “chillin” caterpillar with his slow and breathy pace. Sometimes this just feels like waiting. I don’t like to wait. My inner Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka… “I want it now.”
As I take in the texture of this painting, the dragon scales feel like armor. Certainly, if I were venturing into the dark forest alone, armor would be a great! In my daily life, not really an accessory that I need. Yet, there is something comforting about the idea of protection. Not necessarily the weight of armor. My thoughts are heavy enough, at times! How is it that we weigh ourselves down, shielding ourselves, ready to defend…and the opponent? Ourselves…old thought patterns, beliefs and the inner nag. I wonder, what would it be like to walk into the forest in a blue dress with a white apron, like Alice?
I may need to sit with this painting awhile longer. I may be at the edge awhile longer. My hope is that it is the edge of good fortune as bamboo symbolizes. My practice is pausing, breathing and trusting…no armor required. How is it for you? Have you experienced the edge? Did it become familiar? Are you there now? My prayer for you is that you find comfort, hope and good fortune. Blessings
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