The Great Exceeding
Following my 30-days of painting challenge, I wanted to continue with a writing challenge. For the past 10 days, I have said that I wanted to do a 30-day blog challenge. Each day, something has happened, like the computer eating my blog and sending out into the abyss of lost files, the block to write, the distractions of monkey mind or the call of the paint from the studio. Each day I descend the stairs to the studio and continue to paint. Many things have pulled me away from writing, until today…Today, I painted, inspired by the I-Ching, The Book of Change, Gua #28, “The Great Exceeding”. This Gua talks about taking extraordinary action after being nourished. The commentary suggests, “Favorable to have someplace to go. There is success,” “Stand alone without fear,” “Withdraw without depression.” The final a thread that caught me was “excess and insufficiency can become balanced.”
I have felt just that, excess and insufficient. I have felt the excess of too many things in my house, in my head, in the way I have been living and not living…I feel the excess of the prolific amount of painting that has come, and yet, it feels insufficient somehow. I was not finding that right word for the canvas to release that one thing that would change my life. Still, the feeling of insufficiency has brought me to a place to clear away so many things. My painting and creating is speaking to me on a cellular level. I am having a profound experience that is feeding and nourishing my soul. The preceding gua in the I Ching is “Nourishing”. Only with nourishing can great exceeding come. Great exceeding calls forward “Great Action.” Now comes the questions….Sooooo, What is this great action? What will I do next? What is it? What new story am I going to write? Can I figure out who I am? Will I go be that? Am I willing to stand alone, without fear and be me?
I did paint this morning, before writing. The last 4 days of painting have brought an ecstatic experience and awe. The beauty that I see in the color and images move me to a joy that is beyond excitement. Yet, I don’t know what to do next…I don’t have words to make the next move…to do that “Great Action.” What I do feel, is the need for shedding…clearing the clutter, the energy vampires and the negative patterns that can pull me out of this joy-filled bubble. For most of my life, I have worked very hard to help others understand and “get me”. What an absolute waste of energy! I don’t need to explain myself to those that need it explained. I may be an acquired taste, a bold expression with colorful and direct language and I love that about me! I would rather, “stand alone without fear or withdraw without depression” then give my energy away by trying to explain myself. So, my next Great Action??? It’s to simply be ME…loving the excess, loving the (self-imposed) insufficiencies, loving the creating, living with passion, joy and purpose. Sometimes, the purpose is just getting up, “chopping wood and carrying the water” as the sage says…to nourish the body and the soul, preparing for the “great exceeding” …that next great action. In our culture and time, it does take courage to simply be yourself without caving in to the peer pressure and societal standards of “should”. Can you say “fuck that” without the anger? Can you simply love yourself enough and realize that is a GREAT ACTION! I am!
Beth is a self-discovered abstract artist. Her work can be found here in the gallery or at local galleries in Winston-Salem, NC. Now through December 31st, find Beth’s art at The Steel Group Architects, 217 W.6th Street Winston-Salem. Want Beth’s work in a gallery near you?