“Love is Mystical”
By Beth Blair
April 30, 2017
“Love is Mystical, do you feel the same? Love is irresistible. It’s calling out your name. Light in darkness will show you the way.” These lyrics by the Cold War Kids illuminate part of the rabbit hole I have been playing in for a while and that I traversed with a friend last week. I did share about it some in my last two blogs: “Blind Spots” and “Intense, In Tents, Intents”. As we go further into the rabbit hole, Alice, we discover a simple and profound lesson…Love is Mystical AND how it shows up in our individual lives may appear to be different, but it is not. It is the pervasive life blood of everything.
Sometimes lessons show up when you are doing some menial task, like pressure washing a pool deck! I was pondering the quote from Chief Crazy Horse, that my friend shared with me. “I saluted the light within your eyes where the whole universe dwells. For when you are at that
center within you and I am in that place within me, we shall be one.” As I was getting my Zen on with the rhythm of the sound of the presser washer and I was hyper focused on cleaning the dirt away. I was reminded of the simple practice that the external mirrors our internal landscapes. As the dirt was swept clean from the deck, I was cleaning the dark places inside of me. “Hello, darkness my old friend.” I was, also, following the Light. As I did this, I started thinking back to the sharing I had with my friend and reflecting on the quote. What popped up as a huge A-HA Moment, light bulb over my head and a quiver in my heart. As I sit here trying to articulate it, I find myself at a loss for words. I am hungry to share this and I am humbled by not knowing how. Let me try by reflected on my previous understanding of love from the intimate or partnership relationship perspective.
Many hold the belief that there is a person that completes us, “our other half”, “soul mate”, “twin flame”, etc. We may spend a lifetime searching, flipping rocks, bar stools, church pews. We may traverse difficult mountain trails, compromise our inner beliefs to secure this union. I used to think this way too, that I had to “find” this other half. From this perspective, there is a dualistic split, the Yin and the Yang. Now this is not a gender thing, but it is the split of Energy into masculine and feminine. These perspectives of Energy give qualities or characteristics to ourselves and others that we may see as masculine or feminine. We ALL have both perspectives of Energy in us (actually we have many perspectives). This is Wholeness, dissected into parts of the Whole. Each of us is perfectly complete without finding our “other half.” I am not suggesting a single or celibate lifestyle. What I am suggesting is more of a pondering…what if we, individually and collectively, realized that each of us is part of the whole AND The Whole itself. This is the concept of Oneness.
I used to think I was not complete without a partner. That marriage brought the union of something that could not be experienced without it. Because I didn’t understand the difference between dualistic thinking and polarity, I lost myself in these relationships or maybe to these relationships. One plus one like this doesn’t equal two, it equals three…you, your partner and the relationship. I sacrificed, compromised and diminished who I was as the dynamic being I am. I became the supporting actress to someone else’s story. Please don’t take this as a dramatic victimization of my life. I take full responsibility for the choices I made and the roles I played. Without these experiences, I would not be where I am now… heading on this joy-filled path. The true union that is created in relationship is that of the Self and LOVE. I am not talking about “loving yourself” (although this is important). I am speaking of the vastness of what Love is. Maybe starting with what it isn’t is a place to begin…Love, of which I am speaking, is not a feeling. It is not something you “Fall into”, “Fall out of”, can lose, earn or even give. It is the pervasive, the intoxicating, the life-blood of unconditional existence on this planet. It is not a bargaining tool, a reward bestowed for good behavior or ecstatic sex, or even something that is quantified in volume (for it cannot truly be measured). Love is Mystical. Merriam-Webster defines mystical as “having a spiritual meaning or reality that is neither apparent to the senses nor obvious to the intelligence.” So, guess what…Love doesn’t necessarily make sense! Well, that explains a bunch! Now, that may be a little tongue and cheek, but Love is “something that is neither apparent to the senses nor obvious to the intelligence.” Have you ever met a person that truly stymied you in feelings and thought? Did you traverse the land of “being in love” with this person, though it didn’t make sense? Did the connection push your buttons? Cause internal friction and growth? Make you want to run, not walk, to get away as quickly as you can?
Before your feathers start to get ruffled, relationships are the learning grounds for our growth and development as human beings. It is where we work out our shit, karma, and a plethora of other things. I do believe in committed relationships and don’t think we are meant to walk alone. That’s not what this is about. It is bigger than that. It is about surrendering to the Power of Love. It is about not defining myself, yourself by a relationship needing to complete us. It is a most Mystical thing. It can be experienced in a variety of way…from the most intimate relationships, friendships and the simple connection with the cashier at the grocery store.
Let me share with you the exercise my friend and I did the other night. I am sure there is a name for it, but I don’t recall it. We sat facing each other, close enough for our hands to touch. Left palm up right palm down. We gazed into each other’s left eye for 5 minutes. What transpired was a blending of sorts. We lost awareness of our individual hands. The 5 minutes felt long and at the same time limitless. For me, my friend’s face was shifting to one side and I was seeing more of him even though I was only “looking” at his left eye. It has been said in many ways that the eyes are the window to the Soul. From this vantage point, I experienced the entire Universe in my friend’s left eye. For 5 minutes, sitting in a quiet office in Salisbury, I experienced true Oneness. Now, I have been in this “place” before, but what this 5 minutes did for me was bring me to the edge of myself and the desire to swim in Oneness all the time. If only it was that easy!
As humans, we continually look for ways to see ourselves as different, unique, special. We divide ourselves by gender, color, sexual preference, religion, economy, geography, politics, etc. The further we get away from seeing ourselves as one, the more the Universe will bring us back to this very principle. Science is studying and starting to understand the communication of trees… the reality of their collective consciousness. A grove of Aspens is, actually, a unit or community of sorts. The roots are connected from one tree to another and they play the game of telephone to thrive, help each other and so on. This is just one example of deep rooted connection. Can you think of others? Walt Whitman said, “Every hour of the light and the dark is a Miracle. Every cubic inch of space is a miracle.” We live our lives separating the light and the dark, yet one cannot exist without the other, for in each is the definition of the other. What I am suggesting is that each of us be willing to open to every cubic inch of miracles around us. They show up in the people we meet, the 5 minutes of sitting with another person, the glances, the greetings, the synchronistic encounters. The miracles show up in nature, in births, in deaths, in weather. The miracles show up in our willingness to be vulnerable to another person. Miracles happen even though we don’t “see” them. But, how cool is it to witness and experience one? Another verse from the Cold War Kids song is, “Love is mystical. Love will break the chains. You might feel invincible, and you might be afraid. Light in darkness will show you the way. Give you the power to believe again.”
The desire to “believe again” permeates our planet. How many songs are written about love? Looking for it? Losing it? Not to mention poetry, stories, movies, and other expressions about love. What if we, as a collective consciousness, truly accepted the facts that Love is not an emotion? However, it is irresistible…everyone wants it! It is all around us. I will say it again, Love is not an emotion. Emotions do factor into the equation of life because most of our emotions rise and fall around our perceptions of Love. They are either our reaction or response to the ideas that Love can be given, lost, “fallen into” or out of, earned, bestowed, awarded, etc. What if we swam in the sea of Love, realizing we are “IN” Love in every moment, then surrender and simply back floating in the possibilities that Love brings. Love is not something given to receive. It is not even something that is illusively hiding. It is the miracle in every cubic inch of our existence and then some. “Love is Mystical, do you feel the same?”